Have you heard the saying "Winners say I will and loser's say I wish"? I understand the point of the saying. You can't get what you want out of life by just wishing, but here is the problem, as adults we have learned and taught our children that wishing is bad. Wishing is a waste of time. Wishing is for suckers. Wishing is impractical. Wishing is selfish. Wishing is childish. As adults we have almost abolished it from our vocabulary. We may allow ourselves to want something (like a new car) but the only time we "wish" is when we put what ever that something that we want is (like a ride on the space shuttle) out of reach. As adults wishes are only for those things that we want but we have told ourselves we can never have.
If you don't believe that we have completely devalued wishing in our society ask yourself where the saying "Oh that's just wishful thinking" came from and what it means.
We (adults) have a new word to use to get what we want. We call them GOALS. Goals are good because they come with a plan. They are strategic and methodical, practical, responsible and sound. I am not trying to suggest that goals bad. I believe that they are good and useful. My question is how do we come up with a goal?
My argument is that the wish precedes the goal and the goal has no power without the wish.
Lets take a look at the definitions for these two word:
Wish - to have a longing for, to express desire, to long or yearn
Goal - the place at which a race, trip, etc is ended, an end one strives to attain
What motivates humans to do anything? Is it the place at which a race, trip, etc is ended? Or is it the longing, desire or yearning for something? Maybe you think this argument is obvious and isn't worth making but ask yourself when is the last time you have used the word wish. Can you even remember? Did you use it for something that you actually planned to do? Or did you use it in the "it can never happen" way?
Do you remember the things that you wished for as a child? I remember some of my "wishes" and sure they were impractical. I wished for a pet monkey and a pet tiger. I wished to be a famous olympic gymnast. I wished my halloween candy would last forever. I don't know exactly when I learned that these things "couldn't" happen. But this lesson was one that was repeated until I was completely indoctrinated with "the wishing is a waste of time programming".
Of course some wishes are impractical, some wishes are pie in the sky, but are they ever really a waste of time? Have you heard "you can't just wish your life away." That's a valid statement in so far as you can say that you can't or shouldn't do anything in excess to the exclusion of other important things. But why does wishing get such a bad wrap? I dare say that that it took less than three I wishes for someone to respond with the wishing your life away phrase. Think about it, as loath as we adults are to say the word once just imaging stringing three I wishes together in one sentence.
Want is a more acceptable word than wish and I guess that you can use it instead if you are more comfortable with it (which I am sure you are, I know I am) But here is the sad thing I think, wishing has a magic to it that want and goal will never have. We wish upon a star or in a wishing well or when we blow out our birthday candles and why do we do that? For those wishing non believers falling stars, wishing wells and birthday candles probably provided strong evidence for the wishing is foolishness argument. But I believe in serendipity and to me these silly rituals are just a moment in time for us to state for ourselves and the universe what our wises are. After that it is clearly up to us to do something with those wishes. To transform them into manageable goals. But the wish or the dream (another completely shunned word in adult vocabulary but we wont go into now) is what drives us whether we believe in wishing or not. Without the wish it is difficult to stay focused or even interested in the goal.
So here's to wishing, and more of it I say. Wish Wish Wish and then wish some more. You are doing it all the time anyway. Why not just give the credit were credit is due.
