Natasha Bedingfield say it all in the title. Don't let yourself believe that you have to follow the past patterns of your life. Write your life deliberately. What's next is up to you. Just decide. The future will always be Unwritten.
I know that Melissa Ethridge intented for this song to encourage people to take action to help stop the effects of Global Warming. But it speaks to me a much more personal level, about my life in general, paying attention to what really matters and moving in the right direction.
This is one of my favorite songs by KT Tunstall. Sometimes the road ahead of us seems hazy and uncertain but often when we stumble into the darkness we find truth, beauty and courage on our way Through The Dark.
1I have come to the disconcerting conclusion that the answer must be yes.It is quite irrational, I know, but I hold, in part, the movie “The 40 Year Old Virgin” responsible for my self-consciousness.I haven’t seen the movie, but on more than one occasion someone has made a reference to it after finding out that I am selling on EBay.My outward reaction, I hope, does not reveal that inside I feel diminished and ridicules.Why is this?It must stem from my own insecurities, a belief system that is somehow flawed.
It is so easy to sell on EBay.Anyone can do it.It takes no talent.No one makes a full time living at it.It is just a thing that miss-fits who can’t get a date do for a hobby.Is this what I really believe?
It is true that selling on EBay is very easy.It is also true that listing and not selling on EBay is easier than actually selling.I suppose that anyone who wanted to could sell on EBay but most people don’t.It does actually take some talent, not genius of course, but talent all the same.You need good pictures and interesting descriptions.There is a creative process involved with the layout and design.In truth I do believe that there are some people (I don’t know any of them) who live off their EBay income.As for my miss-fits comment, well, that is where the bulk of my insecurities lie.
When asked what I do, I am much more comfortable telling people that I am a waitress than admitting that I have an EBay business. I am “The 44 Year Old Waitress” but I can’t admit that I also have an EBay business.The irony of this is so obvious that it is almost painful.It is hard to imagine that a person who used to work in the professional world at a,”real job” would rather admit to waiting tables than having their own business.It is even stranger to admit that the person is me.
Upon reflection I have discovered that part of the answer to this self contradiction lies in the measuring of success.I can comfortably call myself a successful waitress.There are well established points of measure and they aren’t to complex.I usually get tipped and I usually enjoy the people that I serve.I can not so easily say that I am a successful business owner.It is much more intricate.There are points of measure that I don’t fully understand and probably many that I don’t even know about yet.I want to be successful and not appear foolish.I guess then in some backward way it makes sense that I am a waitress to the world at large and a fledging entrepreneur in hiding.
When considering my insecurities it doesn’t help that a 40 year old virgin is the new poster child for EBay.Maybe I would feel better about it if I saw the movie.???